Julie Nichols--becoming an affirming Catholic and Professional

Recently, I wrote a letter on behalf of transgender/gender dysphoric youth in Texas from a professional perspective as a pediatric specialty therapist, as a mother who raised neurodiverse children ranging from Autism, ADHD, learning disabilities to other diagnoses, and as a Catholic-Christian. My eyes started opening two years ago when I encountered suicidal LBGTQ youth who were at higher numbers from conservative Christian/Catholic homes than their non-religious/progressive Christian peers. My eyes opened fully when LBGTQ families I personally met were being politically targeted and fleeing for their lives while leaving Texas. I am ashamed as a professional and as a Catholic-Christian that I didn't understand the psychological parallels between my profession and the LBGTQ spectrum, especially gender dysphoria/transgenderism. I apologize to the LBGTQ community as a Catholic-Christian professional for not understanding this spectrum of psychology sooner. Gender dysphoric/transgender youth and their families are under attack right now in Texas with threats from Child Protective Services charging the parents with child abuse for following their doctors' orders and the medical consensus. This is why I wrote the letter below to the state from my faith, parental, and professional perspective. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To The Texas Department of Disability and Aging Services: 3-6-2022 Hello, my name is Julie Nichols. I am a pediatric specialty therapist, a wife of 27 years, a mother of young adults, and a Native Texan. I am also a practicing Catholic and a seminarian. I raised neurodiverse children and have worked with neurodiverse children for many years in the disability community. I recently understood and learned that just as there are variances in neurology, psychology, and biology in a certain percentage of the population, there are variances in gender and sexuality for a certain percentage of the population. The LBGTQ experience is actually 3 to 6 times higher in families with other neurodiversity like Autism. This does not make anyone less of a person but uniquely made in God's image. I am sorry to say that I was unable to see this truth until recently by making connections and bridges between the disability world and the LBGTQ spectrum. The LBGTQ spectrum is not a disability spectrum but indeed a true spectrum of psychology, not a "gay agenda" or a "personal choice" as so many who don't know claim over the medical consensus of professionals.

Just as many neurological conditions are intrinsically-fixed by the age of 18, cannot be changed, and typically show starting signs in early childhood in many cases, we need to be aware that this is also true for LBGTQ kids. The vast majority of medical professionals say to fully support a child’s gender identity and sexual orientation. For when one parent fully supports their LBGTQ kids, the suicide rate dramatically drops. 25% of children who come out gay or transgender are expelled from their own homes and conservative churches and are much more prone to suicide and other harmful experiences which I will mention below. The suicide rate in LBGTQ youth is twice as high from conservative religious families and churches than it is from non-religious/more progressive religious homes and churches. Any effort to coerce or change an LBGTQ child’s identity such as through gay conversion, reparative therapy, "healing and deliverance ministry," or through threats of damnation are deeply damaging and can sometimes cause irreversible damage which I will describe more in detail below.

Fully accepting the LBGTQ can be difficult for conservative Christian parents, professionals, and ministers in particular because Christians/Catholics have to reconcile faith issues and be at peace with God while unconditionally loving and supporting LBGTQ youth and adults. The lives and health of LBGTQ people depend on at least one person or parent fully-affirming and supporting them along with other professionals and ministers. Therefore, even though there is theological conflict with my Catholic faith, my Catholic faith in reverse helped me place the sanctity of life, the dignity of the human person, and unconditional love above any doctrinal struggles I had for the LBGTQ community, especially LBGTQ youth. Pope Francis tells Catholic parents of LBGTQ kids to support and love their LBGTQ children unconditionally and not reject them as he tells the Catholic Church this. By Pope Francis doing this, it's projected that Pope Francis saved tens of thousands of lives by preventing parental and ministerial rejection. After studying the science and the medical consensus, I have recently learned, especially over the last six months, the laws of life, love, and science are my primary reasons for fully including, loving, and accepting LBGTQ people and their families. No one is made less in God's image but equal. This is why I am becoming a certified fully-affirming professional, for the sanctity of life, the love of all people, the dignity of human beings, and the prevention of suicide which overrides any doctrinal struggle I may have. Seeing suicidal LBGTQ youth from conservative religious homes and churches and LBGTQ youth who were being politically targeted changed my heart forever. As a Christian mother of neurodiverse children and working with neurodiverse children over the years, I can now relate to the parents of transgender/gender dysphoric youth. From Scripture, I am going to quote the Parable of the Sower adapted for LBGTQ and neurodiverse kids from a group called Freedhearts. I added some of my own good and bad fruit which I have personally experienced as a professional.

"Jesus' parable to answer his disciples' question about how to know if something is true. Jesus' answer was, "Look at the fruit. If a tree bears good fruit, then you know it is a good tree. If it bears bad fruit, it should be chopped up and used for the fire." When we look at the consequences (the "fruit") of rejecting the neurodiverse and LBGTQ children in the family, church, and society, we find depression, anxiety, self-hatred, shame, self-harm, substance abuse, separation from God, the church, community, isolation, anger, serious mental illness, and even suicide. But when we teach that God, the Church, the family, and community loves and accepts neurodiverse and LBGTQ+ people unconditionally, the fruit is health, healing, love, joy, peace, self-acceptance, stable relationships, reconciling with God and the Church, family unity, and wholeness.

Fully accepting and including a transgender children/gender dysphoric children would be no different than fully including and accepting children with a disabilities and/or neurodiversity like Autism. Unless you are capable of life-long celibacy for yourself, you are not qualified to expect this from someone else. Someone's sexuality is between them, God (if they believe in God), and their loved one/parents, no one else.

Unconditional love and support for LBGTQ kids, especially from other Christians is life-affirming. Love and support from other Christians are seen and love and acceptance from God. Rejection or trying to change who they are from other Christians is seen as rejection and abuse from God. Jesus and the Gospels were all about love, inclusivity, and defending the marginalized. I understand that doctrine is part of the Bible and the Catholic Church, but the Catholic Church allows Catholics to theologically place the sanctity of life above all else. The more I learn about this the more I learn about the LIFE ISSUES this population faces. Jesus came for disenfranchised, the ones society rejected. If we claim Christ’s name, we need to follow His example to love the Lord our God with all of our mind, soul, and strength and love our neighbor as ourselves. This would mean loving transgender/gender dysphoric youth unconditionally, using their preferred pronouns and name, and including them, not excluding them to help reduce the suicide statistics dramatically just by doing these simple things, This is why I wear my "Free Mom Hugs" rainbow shirt, to save lives. With Christian Love and Concern for LBGTQ kids, especially transgender /gender dysphoric youth and their families.

Julie Nichols Master of Education Certified Academic Language Therapist Autism, Dyslexia, and Tele-practice Specialist Mother of neurodiverse children Seminarian—Boston School of Theology and Ministry